Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Two words that also mean single-alone/distinct. I prefer the latter.
You know what I realized today? I need to kill my obsession with why I am single. I whine, complain and groan about it all the time. I know my friends hate me for that. Well, not hate, but you know what I'm saying. Guys, tell me to stop complaining. I know I am sensitive, but I can take it. It's better this way.
Being single is quite the dynamic feeling. Sometimes I feel free. I don't have to worry about telling anyone about my every move. I don't have to worry about how he feels, what he thinks, what he wants. I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I get to focus totally on me. And for someone as self-absorbed as myself--that's heavenly. Divine, even.
So, why do I hate being single so much? Like Carrie said in Sex In the City once, "The loneliness is palpable." It is, Carrie, it is! Also, when everyone else around you seems to be coupled off, it stinks! Not to mention holidays, Valentine's Day, any day really...when it's nice to have someone else's fingers wrapped in your own.
I am such a contradiction. Being single is best for me now. I can drag myself through the muck because I don't know what I want, instead of dragging someone else. I'm rational that way, I guess.