My sister, the mother.

My oldest sister has never been the best of mothers. To be completely honest, sometimes I think she may be one of the worst. One thing is for sure though, she does love my nieces, but how much...couldn't tell you.

I say this because, I am afraid her ways are rubbing off on my older sister. She has two children of her own, 2 and 3 and they are incredible kids. However, here lately, she has mentioned sending them home to my mother so she can get herself together. This may sound like a perfectly normal plan of action, but that's because you don't know the players in the game of my family.

My mother, has fibromyaglia syndrome, which basically is her muscles attacking her body, causing pain in any group of muscles it feels like attacking that day. So, having my mother be the caretaker of 2 toddlers...not happening. My mother is the epitome of what you think a loving mother is and should be, so to her, the idea sounded wonderful and I believe at some point, she said yes.

I had to call my mother and let her know that it was just NOT a good idea for her health. And my sister KNOWS this! But when you have something in your mind you want to do, you'll do anything in your power to do it. The thing about that statement is my sister has never lived it. She has never done anything in her power to accomplish anything. And now, all of a sudden, she wants to dump her kids off to her sick mother so that she can "get herself together."

I understand the whole getting yourself together part, because, her baby's father and her aren't working out. They are both making steps to move on. Although his steps involve him only caring for himself. Her steps involve her being left with the children (although that's nothing new) and having to fend for herself. My sister has always been codependent and has hardly ever done anything for herself.

So, what is it that she has to do that she would be willing to hand over her children to a sick mother? I can only think of her wanting to hold on to her recent party girl lifestyle. And there may be another dude. I heard her say "bye babe" to someone on the phone. With the problems she has with her babies' father, I am sure that it wasn't him.

My sister has never been this selfish and I am confused. I have always held sat her atop a pedestal and I don't know why. I look up to her, even though there is hardly a reason to do that. I know that sounds harsh, but she hasn't made much of a life for herself. The only thing I would want that she has, is motherhood (when I'm ready).