Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Age is something more than just a number.

So, there I was (a couple weeks ago) leaving Susan L. Taylor's house and walking towards the train station, blabbing on the phone to my good friend, Aleisha about how the night went, when this man approaches me, looking like a poor man's T.I. Sounds like a bad description, but he's actually pretty attractive. He was clearly trying to holler at yours truly and like I normally do, I was trying not to notice him. I don't know why I do that. Most times, these dudes have nothing good to say or they end up being completely useless, so I disregard them. I need to stop doing that.

He wasn't going to give up, so he tapped my shoulder and handed me a piece of paper with his name and number on it. Underneath that, it said, "Someday." I really dug that. I actually called later that night with no luck. So, I sat that paper to the side and forgot all about it until the other night when the clock struck 12:30 and I was wide awake and bored with my DVR. I called it again and realized that I dialed one number wrong the first time.

Dude picks up on the 3rd ring. Sexy voice, check! He remembers me and with significant exuberance. So, the conversation begins. We talk about everything from religion, family, sexuality, work, family and everything in between and I haven't had a conversation this good in a long time. It was exhilerating. I thought I lost that part of myself that was interested in getting to know someone--or at least stifled it.

Well the conversation went on until 3:30 and we both didn't want to tear ourselves away from each other. I didn't expect that. At all. He's definitely smitten with me and I'm trying to keep myself from getting to that point. He sounds like the perfect kind of man, right? Well, isn't there always some sort of catch? Well, his catch...he's 45. He was going to college when I was entering the world. Insane. I've dated older before an I have friends that have and it's honestly not a big deal, but when thinking in terms of the future...

I've always self-sabotaged relationships, ridding myself of someone when there was one thing that I thought I couldn't deal with. I don't want to do that anymore. But...45?!

1 comment:

JADE*ILLeen said...

i read that whole entire post in your voice in my head... i miss u girrrl.

he's 45, wow... but right now seems like he could be fun for you, why not?
Some people think it a bit unattractive when someone they recently met thinks too far ahead into the future, if it doesn't work out than I am sure it would at least be a learning experience.

I do also feel as if older guys can be a bit overrated, I've dated older guys when I was younger and they all had this "I am smarter and older and you don;t know shit" attitude, mad condescending and they always said things and made comments that made me feel silly (for being a teenager of course i didnt know shit) and I could never really be myself! which i learned now is the most important part of a relationship, but what they all had in common is that they wanted to fuck me... lolol i really was stupid back then though. However this guy seems a lot more mature and you are a grown mature beautiful woman who knows what she wants and likes, and also you have dated older guys is that why you are holding back, feeling as if things may turn out similar?